Article archive / December 1, 2014
Originally published: . Volume 5, No. 16. Source pages: 1, 2.
The holiday season for most people is a fun time of the year filled with parties, celebrations and social gatherings with family and friends. For some people, it is a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, depression and anxiety.
Whether you call it Holiday Blues, Holiday Depression (sometimes called Winter Blues just to confuse things) or Holiday Grief, these feelings may impact us or our clients at this time of the year. The Blues can result from a mismatch between high expectations for the perfect holiday mixed with memories of holidays past, loved ones no longer present and the reality of the current holiday.
There are several factors responsible for these feelings. Fewer daylight hours and the fact that between 2-5% of the population have some symptoms of seasonal depression (the old term was Seasonal Affective Disorder).
A second factor is extra costs that often strain our weekly, monthly or yearly budgets, whether it is special presents or last minute travel costs. The holidays also mean more activities and less time. We know you will not believe it, but there are only 168 hours in each week. The normal responsibilities and tasks involving family and work get added to by other chores, so many of us and our clients feel a significant time crunch. We all know and tell our clients that when you are stressed, exercise and sleep are good antidotes for those feelings, but they often take a back seat to extra errands and household chores.
Throw in overindulgence in food and drink, and the blues may follow. Relationships can be a trigger point for holiday blues.
Whether it is the cousin Lee whose personality you can’t stand, or the first holiday season without a loved one, you can find yourself feeling sad.
Another factor is non-traditional living. Back around the middle of the last century (You know, 1950-1960), the family was two parents, two children, (and maybe two dogs). Today less than 23 % of all households meet that criteria. We have redefined the family, but separations, divorce, death, adoptions, social change have lead to the creation of alternative family forms that may cause some people to feel some dissonance with the traditional holiday-related behavior and values.
What about intervention for holiday blues. Here is a Baker’s dozen (We are both related to families named Baker) keys to reduce holiday blues.
1) One key to minimizing holiday blues is to know that the holidays can trigger stress and depression.
2) Accept that things aren't always going to go as planned. Something always comes up. Accept those imperfections, both in yourself and in others.
3) Acknowledge and express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season, especially if you have had a recent loss in the family or you can’t be with loved ones.
4) Don't be a martyr. Seek support, be it from family, friends, the community, or religious activities. Helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
5) Be realistic. Traditions and rituals change as families change and grow. Hold on to those you can and want to keep, but accept that you may have to let go of others. Find new ways to celebrate.
6) Stick to a budget. You can’t buy happiness with gifts.
7) Set realistic resolutions. Don’t resolve to change your whole life, return to basic healthy routines with small specific goals set in a reasonable time span.
8) Accept family members and friends as they are. Practice forgiveness, or at least set aside grievances for later.
9) Plan ahead, whether it is menus, shopping trips or travel.
10) Learn to say “NO.” If you say yes only when you want to do something, you will avoid feeling overwhelmed, resentful or bitter.
11) Make some time for yourself. Hide in the bathroom, take an evening walk, listen to music, even if only for a few minutes.
12) Don’t abandon health habits. Get some exercise, some sleep, and some indulgence, but not overindulgence.
13) Seek “professional” help. Whether it is your own psychologist, your spouse, significant other, fishing buddy, coffee group, canine, or in our case, feline companions to help you realize you need to do the 12 above keys.
Happy Holidays from the Matthews: Ménage, Janet, Lee, Judy and Lucy
This article is part of a historical newspaper archive. Read the original issue for its original layout, photographs and graphics.