Article archive / December 1, 2016
Originally published: . Volume 7, No. 12. Source pages: 9.
Miracles for the Dying by Marilyn A. Mendoza, PhD
People always talk about Christmas miracles. It is a magical, hopeful time of year. Certainly anyone who has a loved one dying during the holidays hopes for a miracle to return their loved one to health. But there are miracles that happen to the dying all year long, yet most of us are unaware of them. These miracles bring peace and comfort to the dying and take away their fear of death. Many people would say these miracles are only a function of the dying brain, delirium or some other neurochemical byproduct. However, these miracles have a mysterious, holy and spiritual quality to them, suggesting that there is something more going on than can be explained by changes in bodily function. These miracles are produced by the dreams and deathbed visions of the dying.
Until recently these experiences have not been viewed as medically relevant and were easily dismissed and ignored. If attention were paid to them, it was usually as a sign that the patient needed to be medicated. However, research published in the Journal of Palliative Care found that these end of life experiences are emotionally and spiritually significant to the dying and those around them. A disservice is done to the dying and ourselves by not allowing the patients to talk about what is happening to them. The research demonstrates that these experiences “evoke peacefulness, comfort, a sense of wonder and awe as well as reconciling past events and accepting death.” These dreams and visions are quite different from hallucinations or delirium as they are not frightening or anxiety producing. They are described as “feeling very real” and are more memorable when compared to ordinary dreams. The majority of these dreams and visions involve reunions with long deceased loved ones or with spiritual figures. Whether awake or asleep, these experiences bring the same soothing and comforting messages: “I love you,” “I’ve come to take you home,” “Everything will be all right,” “I’ve come to show you the way.”
The most frequently appearing figures are mothers and angels. When loved ones appear in dreams and visions, they appear as whole again, younger and in good health. Patients are always changed by these dreams. Some who were experiencing anger and agitation become more peaceful. Others begin to smile and start to comfort their loved ones by telling them they will be all right because someone is coming to take them home.
“A 90 y/o woman had been speaking to dead family members for hours. But then her manner changed and she started talking about the angels made of bright lights filling her room. Then she took a final breath, smiled and died.”
It is unfortunate that many on their deathbed are reluctant to talk about these experiences for fear of being ridiculed and not believed. Unfortunately, the topic of death continues to be an area of fear and avoidance. As more information about the dying process becomes available, dying will not be such a lonely experience and asking about deathbed visions and dreams will be just as commonplace as checking vital signs. There comes a time when there is nothing left to do physically for the terminally ill. However, we as professionals can and should use this time to address their emotional and spiritual needs. This becomes a sacred time where we as therapists can help the patients and their families in their final transition.
This article is part of a historical newspaper archive. Read the original issue for its original layout, photographs and graphics.