Article archive / December 1, 2016
Originally published: . Volume 7, No. 12. Source pages: 13, 14.
Judith Steward, PhD Psychologist, Past President of the Florida Psychological Association
Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
Everything has changed. Our population is one of the things that has changed the most. We have more and more aging, ailing, dying people. Since this process is part of all our lives I am surprised how little discussion is engendered by it. Atule Gawand, a surgeon, addresses these issues with great sympathy and caring for the people going through it.
He writes well about the history society and medical practice have in caring for the old, ill and dying. He concludes that today “the issue of living a long life with its downhill segments is an embarrassment for everyone and regarded as a weakness rather than the new normal. Since we do not want to look at the realities of aging, we are not availing ourselves of “the opportunities that exist to change the individual experience of aging for the better.”
He really runs with the questions of how to help improve people’s end of life experiences. He does it through detailed case histories where he, and the patient are trying to figure out what the patients’ priorities are and what life decisions follow. He talks about a nursing home with a wonderful solution to improve the lives of their patients. His discussions about Hospice were really enlightening to me.
The last chapter is about the death of his father, also a surgeon. It is incredibly clear and revealing. I would summarize with a quote. “We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really, it is larger than that. It is to enable wellbeing. And well-being is about the reasons one wishes to be alive.
IN TRUTH, THIS BOOK IS ALL ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY and Guwande is a wonderful Psychologist.
Randall Lemoine, PhD Psychologist, Private Practice, Baton Rouge
No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Seigel and Tina Payne Bryson.
The catchy title of this book sounds too good to be true, especially over the holidays! How can discipline, especially discipline with toddlers and teenagers, ever be without DRAMA? Well, a hint of an answer can be found in the intriguing subtitle of the book: “The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind.” Dr. Daniel Siegel, a well-published neuro-psychiatrist (the Mindsight Institute), and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, a practicing child/ adolescent psychologist, have teamed up to accomplish a remarkable integration of current knowledge in neuroscience, attachment theory and effective parenting strategies. They have created a practical discipline system that is “both high on relationship and low on drama,” and that encourages “cooperation while building the child’s brain.” Their “brain-based discipline” approach shows how our contemporary understanding of brain-behavior relationships can inform us how children learn to behave (and misbehave) and how parents influence their child’s behavioral and brain development by how they respond to misbehavior during daily disciplinary encounters. It is a decidedly positive discipline approach which shuns traditional “punishment and control” discipline approaches as not only ineffective but as also perpetuating stress and conflict (aka drama!) in the parent-child relationship. Instead of the traditional “fear-based” discipline that engages the lower brain’s “fight-flight-freeze” response, No Drama Discipline is competency- and skill-based, engaging the brain’s frontal lobes, the seat of the child’s self-regulation and self-discipline! For example, a core teaching of this pro-active approach is the mantra to first “connect, then redirect;” that is, to first calmly help the misbehaving child to feel heard and accepted (“feel felt”) before delivering a consequence, and, then, instead of reacting with a negative consequence engaging the child in a collaborative problem-solving dialogue. This strategy is similar to that taught by Dr. Ross Greene (Lives in the Balance) for addressing childhood defiance. The book is complete with candid stories from the authors’ own lives and practice experiences and many cartoon illustrations that bring their recommended discipline strategies to life. A good holiday read indeed! I have enjoyed it so much that I have actually now read it twice! The book is now available in paperback, and workbooks and workshop DVDs are also available. Check it out and maybe also share some “peace on earth” with a parent, friend or a colleague!
Greg Gormanous, PhD Psychologist, Previously Chair Psychology at LSU, Alexandria; Psychology of Film & Music
I’ve Been Out There by Grady Gaines with Rod Evans
This is a light read comprised of memories, pictures, historical inserts & stories by Gaines & his band mates, producers, family members & other pioneers in the 1950’s emergence of Rock ‘n’ Roll.
A 60+ year life-span psychology journey in music: from listening to his paternal grandfather & father play on their porch, to a session musician for Duke/Peacock label, to world tours as bandleader for Little Richard (and three Hollywood movies), Sam Cooke, & Jackie Wilson (and 20 other performers inducted in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame), to the King of the Saxophone for New Orleans’ Blacktop Records.
As the quintessential Sideman & Saxman extraordinaire, Grady Gaines at 82 is still pulverizing crowds with his honking sax.
And Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet. Written/directed by Roger Allers. Produced by Salma Hayek, Participant Media & others.
One of the most impactful films of the psychology of peace, love, & inclusiveness. This animation of Gibran’s The Prophet by the director of The Lion King features Liam Neeson, Salma Hayek, and the cello of Yo-Yo Ma. Capturing the message of B. B. King's song Peace to the World, this DVD is both entertaining & instructive, given world tumult today.
Addison Sandel, PhD Psychologist, Natchitoches Previously, Emeritus psychologist & Board of National Association for Gifted Children
Cane River by Lalita Tademy
Cane River is a novel garnered from stories Tademy gleaned during her research of over 100 years and five generations of her maternal ancestors. She walked away from a high-powered job as vice-president at Sun Microsystems in California to spend several years conducting multiple interviews and to search obsessively through dusty documents and archives for her material. The result is a gripping story of four strong women of succeeding generations, through slavery and beyond. The story relates the struggles of these four remarkable women through the extraordinary hardships of slavery and their relationships with the white fathers of their children, which sometimes included forbidden and dangerous love. Tademy tells a story of the institution of slavery which was practiced in the Louisiana of her ancestors, a story rarely told, but of value in understanding the inconsistencies of the institution. As Tademy presents the story, one becomes aware that slavery, as practiced by the French in this part of the Deep South, appears somewhat more benevolent than is usually portrayed in stories of this era of American history. Cane River, in addition to a compelling story of one family through five generations, provides the reader with information that is missing from most grim slavery narratives without, in any way, stinting on relating the evils of the institution.
Billy Seay, PhD Retired Comparative Psychologist Retired LSU Dean
Katherine of Aragon, The True Queen by Alison Weir
This novel is a sympathetic presentation of Henry VIII ‘s first wife. She is shown as a dignified and loving wife who is treated very poorly. The novel also gives an account of her daughter Mary’s early life that may help the reader understand Mary’s later behavior. This is the first of a proposed series of novels based on the wives of Henry VIII. It is difficult to see how the author can give a positive presentation of Ann Bolen after the way she is described in this volume. This is a good read for anyone interested in this period of English History
Molly Govener, PhD, LPC, LMFT Private Practice, Monroe
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
Facing Codependence; What it is, Where it Comes From, How it Sabotages our Lives, by Pia Mellody has probably been my most recommended book to clients in 2016. Ms. Mellody formulates her ideas from her experiences working in The Meadows, a treatment center for addictions, as well as her personal life.
I have formerly recommended the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie for attachment and addiction issues, but have found that it doesn’t resonate with all clients. Facing Codependence has been just the opposite.
Ms. Mellody’s simple, straightforward presentation of the material in laymen’s terms allows for a deeper understanding of the issues, and thus, opportunity for increased self-awareness and relational change for clients. The author describes concepts such as external and internal boundaries, self- esteem vs. other esteem, and nurturing parenting styles vs. abusive parenting styles that may result in codependent behavior in adulthood. At the center of the author’s theories is her “observation that abusive parenting creates a painful sense of shame, inadequacy, or superiority in children, which, if left unacknowledged and untreated, results in the prolongation of these wounds into adulthood and the possibility of unwitting repetition of the abuse in parenting the next generation.”
I would take some issue with the author’s use of the term “abuse,” as she does use it rather loosely, labeling any “less than nurturing” or “non-normative” parenting style as “abusive.” I would think using a term like “violating another’s personhood” or “violating of another’s boundary systems,” would be more appropriate. Another critique I have would be the lack of consideration of cultural and socioeconomic differences that would naturally affect what is considered “normative” or healthy boundaries (both internal and external) as well as what would be considered “abusive” or “non-nurturing” parenting styles as the author describes them.
However, if read from our Western-world perspective with its norms/ideologies, and read critically (as all self-help books should be), I believe this book can be immensely helpful to providing a frame of reference for clients dealing with the issue of codependence.
Amber Boykin, NCSP President, Louisiana School Psychological Association
The Growth Mindset Coach by Annie Brock and Heather Hundley
This recently released book is a month-by-month guide for working with children to help them in learning the concept of growth mindset. It includes lesson plans for teaching the concepts of brain plasticity, being a valued member of a learning community, loving the challenges, accepting feedback as a gift, developing goals and plans to achieve them, thinking of mistakes as learning opportunities, and the power of yet. In teaching the power of "yet", students learn to reframe their negative thinking by changing "I can't" statements into "I can not do it yet" which implies that growth is possible. "The Growth Mindset Coach" also gives the research behind why building positive relationships and fostering growth oriented learning communities are instrumental in educational success. Although this book is geared towards educators and professionals in the educational setting, it is a great read with useful activities for anyone working with the school age population, most especially those with low confidence or a negative outlook on their future.
Kim E. VanGeffen, PhD Neuropsychologist, New Orleans LPA Director and Past President 2015 Distinguished Psychologist
A Stitch in Time by Monica Ferris
Now that most of my Christmas decorating is done, I am ready to start reading my Christmas Cozy Mystery. For those who don’t know, Cozy Mysteries are a genre of mystery which are typically in quaint settings and which feature an amateur sleuth who is usually female. The books are often written in a series and are fun to read rather than suspenseful.
Having grown up reading the Nancy Drew mystery series, I enjoy reading Cozy Mysteries. I am starting to read A Stitch in Time by Monica Ferris. This book is the third in a series of books which are set in a needlework shop. The characters are the owner of the shop and her employees and customers who often help solve the mystery. This particular story has a Christmas theme and involves the restoration of an old tapestry which was found in a church. When the shop owner agrees to help with the restoration, she has no idea what she is really getting into. This series often includes some type of needlework project as a part of the book. Also on my list is A Holiday Yarn: A Seaside Knitters Mystery by Sally Goldenbaum. This series features a group of knitters and also includes a knitting pattern.
These series of books appeal both to my enjoyment of reading and of crafting. So now, I will have to alternate between reading my Christmas Cozy Mystery and knitting the baby blanket I am making for a new grand niece who is expected in February.
This article is part of a historical newspaper archive. Read the original issue for its original layout, photographs and graphics.