Article archive / September 2022
Originally published: . Volume 13, No. 9. Source pages: 13.
This companion volume to Dr. Beverly Stubblefield‘s Bedtime Stories from the Barn and More Bedtime Stories from the Barn, lays out basic psychological principles embedded in her delightful stories. She guides parents and caregivers in how to help youngsters through psychological experiences of distress. The Parental Guide explains the metaphor of the horses’ conversations in her two storybooks and outlines approaches and methods that adults can use to soothe, teach, and encourage the youngster through difficult times. The contents cover topics of anger management, depression, listening, a chapter on anxiety, fear, and phobias, and chapters on abandonment, grief, divorce, bullying, obedience, disability, caring and compassion, and forgiveness. For each chapter and topic, Dr. Stubblefield references the stories to be highlighted by the parent in the goal of therapeutic communications and interactions. She explains the nature of the emotions, points out how they are worked through productively, and what behaviors parents might need to avoid. Techniques mentioned in the bedtime stories are presented in the Guide to help parents and children learn effective coping skills in order to deal with today’s issues in a practical, common-sense manner. These techniques include Active Listening, Anger Management, Calming Imagery, and Relaxation Skills Training, for example. In the chapter for “Anger Management, Dr. Stubblefield explains that anger and frustration are normal feelings but it is how we manage them that is most important. “As a parent," she writes, "it is important to maintain your calm even when angered. As an adult, you are to be an example of anger management and appropriate behavior.” She defines all or nothing thinking and how it can lead to a dysfunctional parenting style, as well as blaming and how it affects a child’s self- esteem. And, she asks the parents to stop and think and to see things from the child’s perspective. For the chapter on “Depression," Stubblefield explains that children do not exhibit depression in the same way as adults. Children can exhibit frustration, irritability, and anger when depressed, she writes. Referencing two stories from her bedtime storybooks, “Camp Bearable” and “Trust,” she gives the parent guidance on how to spend more time listening, how to model good coping skills, how to show affection, how to deal with stress, and how to keep a positive point of view. For the chapter “Listen,” and the stories, “A New Trainer” and “A Cowboy,” Stubblefield writes that communication is essential in establishing relationships, whether it is between a parent and child or a horse and its rider. She goes into depth on how the parent can develop skills in active listening. She instructs and explains how the listener must turn themselves off and tune into the child. She explains reflecting, paraphrasing, drawing out, and clarification. Among other recommendations, she includes tips on nonverbal communication, voice tone and gestures. In the chapter on “Anxiety, Fear, and Phobias,” Dr. Stubblefield uses the examples from numerous stories. In the story “Test Anxiety,” she explains the fear from a child’s perspective. The story proceeds to tell how the student, Gail, uses thought- stopping, positive thinking, calming imagery and diaphragmic breathing to overcome test anxiety regarding math tests at school. In the Guide, information about diaphragmic breathing aims to enable the parent to teach the technique to the child. Examples of thought-stopping and positive thinking are given for the parent to model. Since Gail attends a Christian school, she is encouraged to use prayer as a form of positive thinking. The Guide reminds the parents and caretakers of scripture verses and especially focuses on parents modeling the behaviors desired in their children. Not only is the Parental Guide a useful tool for parents, it is also a helpful resource for family therapists who can utilize and recommend to their clients ways to facilitate the therapeutic process at home. Reading a story in a therapy session about a specific problem addressed in one of the Bedtime storybooks could be an effective way to break the ice, form a connection with a child client, and introduce therapy techniques that otherwise might be ignored. Children are often fascinated by horses and have many questions about the stories. Therefore, a glossary of "horse" terms is included to better understand the horses’ world depicted in the stories. From the book: "Dr. Beverly Stubblefield has always loved horses. She loves psychotherapy, too. In 2006 she combined the two through The Equestrian Therapy Center of Slidell. After 30 years of clinical practice, Dr. Stubblefield has again combined her two loves, this time through writing. "Dr. Stubblefield received her Ph. D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Mississippi. In retirement, she obtained a Diploma in Biblical Studies from Samford University. Dr. Stubblefield and her husband, Edgar Burton Kemp, IV, reside in North Mississippi, where she continues to write and ride horses." Bedtime Stories from the Barn, More Bedtime Stories from the Barn, and the Parental Guide to Bedtime Stories from the Barn may be purchased through Xlibris at www.xlibris.com or by contacting the author, Beverly A. Stubblefield, PhD, at basphd2019@gmail.com.
This article is part of a historical newspaper archive. Read the original issue for its original layout, photographs and graphics.